I Hate DeCamp

Several Animals Were Harmed in the Marketing of This Phone

 Using dead deer flesh to market a mobile phone? That's just gross. (And a questionable marketing tactic.)

Let Us "Help" You Ruin Your "Life"

Honestly, midway through the above, I had thoughts of suicide. But by the end, with DeCamp exhorting me in all caps and with no fewer than 11 exclamation points, I thought, why not throw caution to the wind? I'm going to clean out my bank account, take a bus to some god-awful Pennsylvania town, and lose it all in a slot machine! Then I can kill myself.